Cocaine Tongue

The Sexploits Of Domina

A couple of weeks ago I was in bed with the husband having a rather frantic foreplay session, when suddenly he pushes me onto my back and climbs on top of me. All was going well until he grabbed my breasts and started to play with them vigorously.

So, whats the deal? I hear you cry .....

Well, it was at this point that any erotic fantasies that I may have been having were pushed aside and replaced by the vision of my husband kneeding pizza dough (he loves to cook and he makes his own a lot). My breasts became the dough as he knelt above me kneeding me to perfection.

Unfortunately, if I find something vaguely amusing I cannot contain myself, and we all know that laughing during sex is never a good thing. So, being the good wife that I am I immediately sprung into action and told him I was feeling 'sensitive' that evening and he was tickling me. Lame I know, but I was particularly horny that night and I really didn't want to put him off.

Anyway, I know I should have left it there, but I found the vision so funny that I just had to share it with him afterwards as we lay in bed. Somehow I thought he would find it funny too. Needless to say, he didn't really appreciate the hilarity of it all, but he did take it rather well. Sadly for me my breasts haven't been seeing that much action of late and whenever I watch him making his pizza dough I become strangely aroused.

Dildo Of The Week

So, Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in jail after violating probation and driving with a suspended licence. Apparently, one of Paris' friends has taken matters into their own hands by starting an online petition asking California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon the heiress. Over 12,000 fans have already signed this petition asking for a second chance for Paris, which she was already given.

This quote from Paris is just priceless: "I think I get in more trouble just because of who I am... The cops do it all the time," she complains. "They'll just pull me over to hit on me. It's really annoying. They're like, 'What's your phone number? Want to go to dinner?" How big headed is she?

Personally I think she should spend those 45 days in jail just like any non-famous person would have to. Why should she get special treatment because of who she is. Paris has no excuse to drink and drive. She could afford a chauffeur or a hotel room on a whim. I think celebs like Paris need a reality check. They should realise that they can't just do as they please and think they can throw money at the problem to make it go away.

So that is why the award of Dildo of the Week goes to Paris Hilton, for being a complete twat and needing a jolly good spanking.

Lily Allen -v- Kate Moss

Personally I prefer Kate Moss' sexier look. Lily Allen looks like a Carmen Miranda wannabe. Just give the poor girl a bowl of fruit and be done with it.

Vintage Nude Of The Week

I think it is only fair to pay homage to the figure of a real woman. Although, if I was her I would be a little nervous that her fox stole might spring into life and start a fight with her 'beaver'. It looks like he's thinking about it.

Foxy Lady!

I know, long post, but I feel I need to make up for my absence. Besides, I need to start how I wish to continue, and blog a hell of a lot more than I used to. So expect my posting to be more frequent from now on.